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Story Behind Mark's Proposal |
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Written by Miranda
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Saturday, 01 January 2005 |
the story behind Mark's proposal, since so many people have asked me how it happened...
actually,
it's sort of a long story...one thing is for sure; if we ever have kids
and grandkids, we definitely have an interesting story to tell:
i
have to preface by saying that over the past four years when people
have asked why we haven't gotten married, we've always said that we
don't need a piece of paper to acknowledge our love and to "prove" that
we're together. i've been divorced and Mark can be rather
anti-establishment. since we're SO together, it hasn't really been an
issue. and neither of us ascribe to any religions that "require"
marriage.
however, as our relationship has progressed, things
have come up that have made me realize that from a legal standpoint,
being a married couple has certain advantages.
and of course, after 4 years together it just started to seem like the natural progression in our relationship...
but,
since i knew that he wasn't really big on the concept of marriage, i
just accepted that it probably would never happen. we've joked about it
in the past, in the "if we were to ever get married" sense.
however,
throughout the past year, he's made little comments here and there that
seemed as though he might be thinking about it. i never pushed the
issue, because if it happened, i wanted it to be something he wanted,
not something he'd be doing for me against his wishes.
well...a
couple weeks ago, in fact it was the second day of my vacation, i had a
nervous breakdown. we had been out shopping together, and at Bed Bath
and Beyond we saw something we liked, and Mark made a comment that "we
should register here..." and then a couple seconds later, he said "and
then cancel the wedding". that set me off. i said "why bother
cancelling it?" i tried to joke it off, but it kind of upset me. i knew
(or so i thought) that he wasn't into the idea of marriage, but that
didn't mean he had to be so flippant about it.
i didn't speak to him for about a day and a half.
finally,
i broke down, cried for a few hours, and then spilled all my feelings
about how even though i used to feel that we didn't "NEED" to be
married, it has sort of become something i would like, but i had
accepted that he was "against" it so i just tried to not let it bother
me... but that when he made those jokes, it made me feel like he would
only want to marry me to get gifts.. there was alot more that i said,
but there's no need to get into it. basically, i just let him know all
the feelings i'd been having and how i can't help but WANT to be his
wife, even if i don't NEED to be.
then, he confessed.
he'd
already been planning to propose on our anniversary (December 29th)...
he'd "retracted" the statement about the registering at BB&B
because he thought i'd figure out what he had planned.
so,
after he confessed (and threw in alot of other mushy-gushy stuff about
what made him change his mind about marriage and decide it was time), i
REALLY lost it... my little outburst had ruined the surprise.
after assuring me that it was okay, he said, "so...can I still ask you?"
DUH!
but...he said i still had to wait till our anniversary, because this wasn't how he wanted to propose...
well...
two days before our anniversary was when he had the kidney stone attack
and we spent all night in the ER. it was kind of cute, though, when he
was doing the intake paperwork and listed me as the emergency
contact...the desk girl asked what my relationship to him was... we
looked at each other, laughed, and he said "almost fiance?" LOL
anyway...
so the night of our anniversary was uneventful. he still wasn't feeling
well. 11:30 pm rolled around and he still hadn't even mentioned
anything, and i started to assume he'd decided to wait until he was
feeling better...
we were laying in bed when he apologized for
not taking me out to dinner. he said that his plans were ruined by the
kidney stone... he also said he tried to come up with something witty
or romantic to say, some special way to propose... but he couldn't...
so he just asked me, "will you marry me?"
of COURSE i said yes! (i think i might have added in "it's about damn time!" >;)
so...
it wasn't by any means an average romance & fairy tale proposal,
but it sure as hell is unique, and i wouldn't have it any other way...
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